


Look You In The Eye

by iluvzuzu



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: F/M, Phone Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-01-17
Packaged: 2019-03-06 02:14:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13401294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iluvzuzu/pseuds/iluvzuzu
Summary: Oh, they just want to hear each other breathe. (Takes place somewhere during BLLB.)





	Look You In The Eye

It was past midnight when Blue tiptoed downstairs to the phone room. Half the house must have known she was making these late-night calls, but other than Orla no one said a word—and even Orla had given up mentioning it because it was, as she put it, “just too pathetic to think about.”

Without turning on the light, she picked the pillow up off of the chair and sat cross-legged with it in her lap; she dialed; he answered.

“Jane.”

“Hi,” Blue said.

“Hello,” Gansey said.

She relaxed into the chair, picking at the pillow’s seam. “What are you doing?”

He exhaled a small laugh. “Homework, if you can believe it.”

“I can. You private school boys and your fancy letter grades.” She imagined him sitting upright in his chair after having been hunched over it for hours, stretching his arms, his neck, his back. He’d have his glasses on, of course. Maybe when he answered the phone he’d pushed them up his forehead to rub his eyes, not realizing how strained they’d been until he stopped focusing on the texts in front of him. “Should I let you get back to work?” she teased, because he’d been silent for a few moments.

“God, no,” he said. “It’s dreadful. Calculus,” he added, before she asked.

“Sounds hard,” she commented drolly. The minute it happened, she sensed the snap. He had paused at her choice of words, and she felt it in her whole body.

“Not hard,” he said slowly, seemingly casual. “Just tedious.”

“A lot of work,” she agreed, rubbing the corner of the pillow between her fingers. She’d long ago learned not to be embarrassed by anything she said on these phone calls; if there was one thing that could be said about Gansey, it was that once he decided to keep you, nothing you could do would ever make him abandon you. Case in point: Ronan Lynch. Case in point: “Are you at your desk? Or on your bed,” she said.

“I _was_ at my desk,” he answered, again a beat too late. “Now I’m on my bed.”

“Hmm,” she acknowledged. Her mouth felt dry. This wasn’t totally unfamiliar territory, yet somehow it seemed new.

“And you?” he asked. “Where are you sitting?”

“In the dark,” she said softly. “In the phone room. In an armchair.”

He made an affirming noise. “Are you comfortable?”

“Yes,” she said. “Gansey?”

“Yes?” he exhaled.

“I just want to hear you breathing,” she whispered.

“Yes,” he repeated. “Talk to me, Jane.”

“I was thinking before,” she began, “about your neck.”

“Oh?” he breathed.

“Mmhmm,” she said, squeezing the pillow, playing at absent-mindedness. “I don’t think your study position is very ergonomic.”

“It is not,” he replied tightly.

She said, “So, your neck.”

He said, “Yes, Jane.”

Blue shifted her sitting position, pressing the pillow into her lap. “Does it—” she wanted to say “hurt,” but it wasn’t elegant. She searched for a moment before landing on, “ache?” He exhaled as a response, and she followed up with, “Your back, too. And your shoulders. Do they ache?”

“Like you wouldn’t believe,” Gansey managed.

“You should lie down,” she said. “Rest your muscles.” He made a noise that was mostly an exhale, maybe a little bit of a laugh. Maybe a little bit of a whimper.

It _would_ be funny if it weren’t so serious.

“The tension, you know,” she said. “You have to release it somehow.”

“Oh,” he said. She could hear him breathing, alright, as clear and close as if it were happening in her own ear. She pushed up against the pillow.

“Because it’ll build up,” she continued, breathing a little audibly herself. “You’d better do it fast, or…”

“Or what,” he panted.

“Or you’ll explode,” she murmured, pressing the pillow into her lap, pressing her lap into the pillow, matching his breathing, finding his pace.

“ _Blue_ ,” he whispered.

She said calmly, “Gansey.”

His breath caught for a moment and her stomach swooped; she kept pressing as she listened to his breathing slow, unable to stop her own from speeding up.

Then, in the most collected of tones, he said, “You know what,” and she whimpered in reply. “After this, I don’t know how I’m going to look you in the eye.” The image flashed through her mind, the image of his eyes meeting hers, both of them knowing, just both of them and no one else. She gasped with one last hard press of palm to pillow to pelvis—and let it wash over her.

They both sat without speaking, then, still on the line, just breathing. “So I’ll see you tomorrow, Jane?” he said huskily.

“Today,” she corrected, gently teasing. “It’s after midnight.”

“So it is,” he mused. “Then I’ll see you later today.”

Blue wanted to say something beautiful and poignant, something that would be worthy of what this moment really was. Something like, “You’ve already seen me,” or “I love you,” or otherwise along those lines. Instead, she said, “Get some sleep.”

And he said, “I will. You too?”

And she said, “I will.”

“Good morning,” he said softly, and hung up before she could say anything in return—though she didn’t know what she would have said anyway. She made her quiet way back up to her room where she laid herself down, most likely to dream of the back of Gansey’s neck.

**Author's Note:**

> does this even count as explicit? there's no option for implicit 
> 
> i literally tried to go to sleep five hours ago and gave up after hour 3 of not sleeping and instead wrote this down instead of planning it in my head, so that's the level of writing we're at
> 
> but in all honesty like, this is what Mags would want, like, why have your characters canonically call each other in the middle of the night if not to get a bunch of mediocre sexy phone stuff written about them? am i wrong? i mean?


End file.
